The Republic of Paganiniana Variation 9 is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed population of 786 million Paganiniana Variation 9ians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 50.0%.

The Paganiniana Variation 9ian economy, worth 35.2 trillion lire a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Automobile Manufacturing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 44,846 lire, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

The Paganiniana Variation 9ian Tourism Bureau has described the abolition of coastal defences as a "kick to the groyne", Paganiniana Variation 9 has been greatly criticised for its isolationist policies, excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions, and the "temporary replacement bus service" is now a permanent fixture. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paganiniana Variation 9's national animal is the dolphin, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans.

Paganiniana Variation 9 is ranked 111,617^th in the world and 5,310^th in Lazarus for Most Corrupt Governments, with 9.6 kickbacks per hour.